Happy Holidays

From all of us here at FFSOM, we'd like to wish you a politically-correct holiday greeting:


Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an
environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender
neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable
traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your
choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others,
or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all and a fiscally
successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset
of the generally accepted calendar year 2000, but not without due respect for the
calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make
America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country
or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the
race, creed, color, age, physical disability, religious faith, choice of computer platform,
or sexual preference of the wishee.

Legal Disclaimer: By accepting this agreement, you are accepting these terms.

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no
alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually
implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by
law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good
tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting,
whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance
of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Sincerely,

(Name withheld for legal, social and cultural considerations.)

Why D.C. Teenagers Have Taken a Stand Against Police Brutality

By William Bates and Yared Lingo

          This past Wednesday, December 17, The School Without Walls High School of Washington, DC held a protest in front of the White House.  The school was protesting police brutality and unpunished violence against African-Americans. School Without Walls students were outraged by these crimes, particularly the recent deaths of Eric Garner, Michael Brown, and Tamir Rice.  The students marched from their school at 21st and G street NW, DC to the White House. At the foot of the White House, the students staged a “die-in”, wherein they laid together on the ground for over 30 minutes before marching their way back to their school in time for their midterm tests.

          The demonstration accomplished one thing without a doubt: proving that the youth of America care about this pressing issue. The protest was conceived by teenagers, organized by teenagers, and enacted by teenagers. The student organizers of the demonstration went above and beyond social media posts and hashtags to incite real action. The amount of time and effort put forth by the students, not only the organizers but also the participants, would be noteworthy even in adults. So this protest raises an important question: why is it that a demographic generally viewed as apathetic would take a stand, and in a huge way, on their own volition?

Students marching to the White House (The Nation).

School Without Walls Protest. Digital image. The Nation. N.p., n.d. Web. 22 Dec. 2014.

        Social media, most notably Twitter, has been monumental in influencing this phenomenon. There is a clear relation between the online movement and the physical actions, as suggested by the chants used by the students during their demonstration. In recent days, masses of Twitter members have used the platform to post their feelings about some of the recent police brutality-caused deaths, including those of Michael Brown, Eric Garner, and Tamir Rice. Common Twitter hashtags #icantbreathe and #blacklivesmatter were then transformed into call-and-response protest chants by the School Without Walls student body. The students’ yells of “Black Lives Matter!”, “No Justice! No Peace!”, “I Can’t Breathe!” and more could be easily recognized by anyone involved in the movement, largely thanks to their vast popularity on Twitter and other social media.

        Social media also provides accessibility to the movement for the students and helps to explain why this issue in particular garnered support from America’s youth. According to a 2013 Pew Research poll, 96% of black people in the United States aged 18-29 (the youngest age demographic with available data) use a social network, compared to 90% of white people in the same age group[1]. The difference is even more significant on Twitter specifically, where the number for white young adults becomes 28%, and for black young adults becomes 40%[1]. Black youth in particular have taken their outrage at police discrimination and brutality to social media outlets, especially Twitter; this online outrage has, in turn, morphed into student protests including (but certainly not limited to) the one by School Without Walls.

The School Without Walls die-in (The Nation).

School Without Walls Protest. Digital image. The Nation. N.p., n.d. Web. 22 Dec. 2014.

An important part of the responses to the recent deaths is that young people (especially African-Americans) are realizing that this could happen to anyone. This attitude is shaping responses on social media and also leading to protests all over the United States. Such racial discrimination against African American youth by the judicial system has been occurring for a glaring number of years, as seen in the case of George Stinney (a 14-year-old African-American who was wrongly convicted of murder and executed in 1944). The ages of the recent victims of police discrimination give further explanation as to why teenagers are protesting. They can empathize with Michael Brown, Tamir Rice, John Crawford III, and Trayvon Martin, who were aged 18, 12, 23, and 17 respectively at the time of their deaths.

Student speakers at the die-in (The Nation).

School Without Walls High School Protest. Digital image. The Nation. N.p., n.d. Web. 22 Dec. 2014.

There is currently a process within the United States in which black people are becoming increasingly aware of the fact that they could lose a friend, an acquaintance, or a family member at any time and they might not get any help from the American justice system. Students, especially black students, have seen that the police do not necessarily only harm people guilty of a crime, and that the justice system might not protect them if they are the victim of a crime at the hands of another civilian. This concept was expressed vehemently when the murder of Trayvon Martin was in the news thanks to the “Skittles and Iced Tea” campaign (naming the only items an unarmed Martin had with him at the time of his death). It was also seen at the protest when Aram Barnett, a School Without Walls student, spoke to his fellow students and surrounding observers during the die-in. His speech ended on a powerful note, stating that the next victim of police racial bias could be one of his friends or even himself.

           The unique nature of this movement has been able to emotionally charge the American youth. Largely thanks to social media, an attitude of “anyone can be murdered by police”, and the relatability of the recent victims, teenagers are taking a huge part in protests and (as seen with this event) even organizing their own. Only time will tell if this newfound solidarity will ultimately lessen police discrimination, militarization, and brutality, but support by teenagers gives the movement much-needed youthful hope in the mean time.

[1]Smith, Aaron. "Detailed Demographic Tables." Pew Research Internet Project. Pew Research Center, 06 Jan. 2014. Web. 20 Dec. 2014.

I Got 71 Problems and the House is One

By Brian Contreras

On Thursday night, the 11th of December, the House of Representatives passed a Congressional spending bill that, if made law, will dictate government spending and appropriations for much of the bureaucracy until late next year. They also crucially extended the deadline for the Senate to vote on this vital legislation by two days, staving off yet another government shutdown by a matter of hours.

This bill, in addition to funding many major federal agencies, supplies money to deal with the ongoing issues of Ebola and ISIS, as well as (in a move that has angered leading Democrats like Nancy Pelosi) reducing regulation on Wall Street bankers and increasing the donation cap for individuals to the RNC and DNC.

However, amid all the tension, one seemingly minor inclusion in the bill is drawing much attention from the nation's capitol - not necessarily by those within Congress, but rather the people who call the city home.

The bill, at least as interpreted by the Republicans who are pushing for it's passage, would stop the District of Columbia from legalizing marijuana; a decision that passed with the vast majority of support in DC's November elections as the widely popular Initiative 71. This has led to a planned march by supporters of legalization in DC and a sit-in in Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid's office, as well as claims by legalization advocates that the bill's language could be interpreted in such a way as to still allow the change (since it had already been passed by voters). Whether such a loophole is available or not remains to be seen, but judging by the climate in Congress at the moment, things don't look good for supporters of DC's right to self-determination.

http://dcmj.org/ballot-initiative/

A campaign poster from the movement which, if the Congressional spending bill passes the Senate in it's current form, will likely be invalidated.

Wideo of the Week

Here's your wideo of the week.

United Nations Announces Plan to Build Moat Around Eastern Europe

DEC. 3., 13H30M--New York, NY

The United Nations Security Council was called into an emergency session in the morning hours of December 3rd to discuss continued disturbances in the Donbass region of Ukraine. The Ukrainian representation flung increasingly repetitive accusations at a relaxed Vitaly Churkin, the Russian envoy to the UNSC. Visibly sweating and playing around with a tube of natural gas in his hands, the Ukrainian spokesman, Alexander Pavlichenko, expressed concern for "recurrent incursions of the Russian Empire onto proud Ukrainian territory." Pavlichenko delved deeper: "One proud Ukrainian people will be stronger than the multibillion dollar warfare complex of the Russian Federation. We will stand strong, united, bound, and kindred by a common cause and a common ideal. Of course," he added, "this is not an exclusive statement to American investments and international aid." Making a deplorable puppy face, Pavlichenko forced saline-induced tears out of his eyes as he opened up a burlap bag filled with coins of international variety. Attempting to rattle the coins, Pavlichenko threw in scrap metal in forlorn desperation to produce noise. 

Pavlichenko broke down in tears when the Haitian dignitaries bullied him out of his earnings. We received immediate reports of an unprecedented increase in in Haitian GDP. 

Most UNSC parties regrettably informed the ambassador that they would not be able to make contributions at this time, but that their prayers would be eternally with the Ukrainian peoples and their confusing history.

Tired of the circus-like nature that the internationally community had been fostering in the global arena, US UNSC ambassador Samantha Power introduced a resolution to dam a moat around the former lines of demarcation of the Soviet bloc. Samantha Power, speaking from the desk she was standing on in frantic frenzy to bring order to the chamber, stated "It has become perfectly obvious Russia has no intention of becoming cozy neighbors with the democratic world. Frankly, even Russia seems to be sounding its paranoia alarms. Complete isolation would be the optimal resolution to this pathetic problem." Ending her sentiments, Power brandished a shovel and cargo pants, and proceeded to exit the chamber.

The eight ambassadors who followed Ambassador Power to Berlin to break ground. 

FFSOM visited the village of Wieniscka. In Wieniscka FFSOM observed the new policy of Stupidita, wherein all things Soviet are ignored, ostracized, publicly burned, and thrown out windows into ravines. This has been causing moderate tension. We inquired a nice grandmother who baked us anti-imperial cookies and served us Polish Independence™ tea. Warmed by old Soviet generators, the village youth interpreted her provincial Polish: "We don't want anymore Russian invasions. Praise be god, why do we need Russia? We have our own Western European invaders to deal with. We still haven't dealt with the Germans, and now they are playing their own games with the Euro-Shmeuro. Russia is simply too much to deal for now. I have even brought out my old potbelly burner to keep warm during this time. My son will be chopping wood, but we'll have to use our knives. The axes are Soviet - we sent them back, haha... *inaudible coughing*." FFSOM was informed that our beloved grandmother had a heart attack, but had to be transported to Western Poland to find a hospital that had not been built on Soviet infrastructure. She will be dearly missed.

Her tombstone had to be cut from South American granite, out of overall fear of using a Russian rock. 

Russian president Vladimir Putin mentioned the moat project in his annual address to the joint session of Russian congress. Standing on top of his gilded platform held up by four slaves, speaking into a microphone wrought of solid platinum, Putin jabbed at the United Nations, "Our American partners have decided to sabotage our prosperity once more. We will not tolerate this sort of aggression any further." Putin's words were met with raucous applause, but suddenly, the leader led the room to silence. He elucidated his words, "Russia is a proud nation of proud people who have shown their unmovable ability to tolerate heaps of bullshit. We shall put this to the test again. Russia will again become the leader of its domain. Glory be Russia." After this, Putin put on his hardhat and brought out a shovel that uncannily resembled that of Ms. Power's. This one, however, was made of solid gold and was encrusted with diamonds.

Mr. Putin did not leave before showing off his most impressive finger shadow theater skills.

Fracked Up for the Future

By Arnie Zemzow

US Senator John McCain declared the United States can begin deliveries of liquefied natural gas to Europe before 2020, as reported by Thomson Reuters.

McCain was openly pleased with the breakdown of construction of the project "South Stream” – a discontinued effort to channel more Russian gas into Europe whose failure was abetted by the Ukrainian crisis. According to Republican Senator, he himself put a lot of effort into this development, eventually persuading the Bulgarian government to count on Europe in terms of energy interests of the country and to cease cooperation with Russia. Furthermore, McCain proposed to establish a supply of liquefied gas to Europe from the United States.

Hello Ladies....
 
In June 2014, McCain and four other Republican senators introduced a bill in Congress called the "Act on the Energy Security of the North Atlantic." The bill proposes the acceleration of the process of issuing licenses for fracking system and eliminating unnecessary bureaucracy for gas companies. The Department of Energy proposed to immediately approve the export of liquefied natural gas to Ukraine, Japan, and US allies in NATO. According to the authors, the new law will help the US get rid of excess gas, which is destructive to US energy systems due to lack of pipelines, and at the same time to strengthen the Russian economy and reduce Europe's dependence on Russian gas.

Russian President Vladimir Putin said on December 1 Russia's final withdrawal from "South Stream". The project worth 15.5 billion Euros was designed for delivery to Europe 67 billion cubic meters of gas per year. It was planned that the pipe would pass through the Black Sea and through Bulgaria, Serbia, Hungary, Austria, Italy and Slovenia. The desire to participate in the new project was echoed by Turkey and Macedonia.

For Her Majesty

By Cam Prudey

London Mayor Boris Johnson tried to calm a drunken passenger on a flight from Kuala Lumpur to London, according to BBC News. 43-year-old David Morris shouted insults at the flight attendants and behaved aggressively. According to witnesses, Johnson warned rowdily that on arrival at Heathrow Airport he could be arrested if he did not calm down.
 
The staff tried to restrain the passengers of the aircraft, but the man who was drunk went on shouting and demanding alcohol. Airline employees had to force handcuffs on Morris, tie his legs and sit him in a designated chair. However, he continued to shout and require hard liquor. It is noted that only one hour of struggling took to sober this man and calm him down.

London Mayor thanked the members of the crew for their excellent performances of their duties.

After landing at Heathrow, the aggressive passenger was arrested on suspicion of disorderly conduct on board the aircraft while intoxicated. He was taken to a police station in West End London. On December 18, the Morris case will be heard in court.